The winners tell stories, the losers say shut up and deal.

I was a classic example of Peck’s Bad boy when I was a kid.  I’ve been going through old journals and found a real classic.  This is unedited, and was copied out of my journal just as is and is 35 years old, so pardon the grammar.:

I should have gone to jail for that………
Back in the early ’70’s, we had moved to Chicago from Florida and I was depressed totally. Living in my neighborhood was an odd experience with Lake Michigan being a poor substitute for the Atlantic Ocean.

Every neighborhood has an asshole neighbor, and ours was no exception. We were living in a small enclave next to Winnetka known as Kenilworth which is right on Lake Michigan. Our neighbor was a middle aged man who had a wife we never saw. Every time we walked across his yard, he would come out and yell at us. He’d sic his German Shepard on us for the smallest reason. He would call the police if we were out in the street playing or just hanging out. Something needed to be done,and I was the guy to do it.

This guy and his family would leave every summer for a month long vacation. They would completely shutter the house and no one would go check on it. He would have the lawn mowed by some service, but that was it.

In 1973, after having had the police called for the 85th. time, I decided that there needed to be some action. It took my cousin who was staying with us and I a couple of weeks to come up with a plan, but it was a classic. My cousin had worked in a pet store and knew of this place in Louisville KY that wholesaled lab animals. We made the 5 hour drive down there one day and bought 3000 laboratory mice for about $135. They came in 10 large boxes which filled up the back of his van. When we got home, we stashed the boxes in the garage and proceeded to the second part of the plan. We built a funnel out of a large heavy plastic sheet that had a 2 inch diameter small end perfect for fitting into small places.

Since our neighbor had just left and his house was closed we waited until dark to enact the rest of our plan. We moved all of the boxes of mice to his bushes right by the front door. I put the small end of the funnel into the mail slot and we literally poured 3000 mice into his house. The whole operation took about an hour as it’s no easy task getting mice to fall down a funnel. Having done that, we destroyed the boxes and put them into a dumster behind the Winnetka Sweet Shop. Now, our friend had a slight mouse problem and wouldn’t be back for a month. After about a week, I started feeling guilty as I worried that the mice inside the walls would start chewing on the wires and burn the place down, so I went over there and turned off the power breaker at the pole.

When they came back to town a month later, ther were in for a total suprise. The mice ate their house. I mean it was totally destroyed. The mice were in the walls, furnature, chewing on everything. This prank made it to the TV and newspaper. Of course, every kid in the neighborhood was hauled into the police station for questioning, but only my cousin and I knew the truth….and we weren’t talking. The neighbors all thought that it was pretty funny as no one got along with this guy at all. I only wish I had taken pictures of the prank. The guy ended up having his house fumigated and the clean up bill was many thousands…..I wonder what his insurance adjuster said. They moved shortly after.

I thought I’d share this tale with you for your entertainment…….Besides, the statute of limitations has passed.

I’ll pass a few more of these along as I go through the old journals.

I;m going to digitize my journal on prop bets, and self publish it.  There’s over a thousand ways to get rich in that goldmine of information.  I’llprobably publish it over at one of those vanity places, and give out copies to my friends.  I know that there;s serious interest in this list over at DS, and my old buddies at the exchange, so I guess I better get cracking, editing, and publishing.  I’ll send my faithful readers a copy if interested.

Cheers,

Jeff

.