I went down to the beach to find knee high mushburgers breaking far out. Still, I had an open window of an hour and a half, so I grabbed my 9′6′ Channin, with the step deck. I paddled out with an agenda….to catch enough waves to sate my hunger. There were the waves, but there were also a bunch of groms just learning how to surf. I took a few of them under my wing, and taught them a few things about the surfing dance, such as how to paddle, pop-up. and stand. I paddled out with all of them, and coached them through a few waves each. Out of the six kids I mentored, I got 5 to actually stand in the whitewater. I thought that was a great start, and the kids were totally stoked. I shortened their learning curve with that hour lesson. While we were out there, I thought of how I sat at that same exact break with my son and his little surf Nazi friends when he was 6 or 7 and wanted to be Gerry Lopez….actually I wanted to be Gerry Lopez, he wanted to be Kelly Slater. My son grew up and is an 18 year old freshman majoring in Latin and Ancient Greek. While I’m off surfing, he’s deconstructing Vergil. I’ll take the surfing. Actually, my son is looking forward to some solid waves during break. He’ll fly in tomorrow, and I’ll pick him up at the airport. We’ll have a couple of weeks together as a family….probably the last two weeks we’ll ever have.
I’ve skirted over the issue, but my lovely wife, Denise has incurable cancer. It started in her ovaries, and has spread via the lymph system to her liver, pancreas, and lungs. She quit her regimen of chemo (her choice), and is choosing to die with dignity. She’s still mobile, but very fragile. She’s 49 years old and is still the sweetest, most beautiful girl in the world. She has the patience of Job…putting up with me and the market swings for the past 27 years. Her doctors have given her a few months.
She made me start this blog about my trading and is an avid reader. She somehow has it in her head that I have common sense and wants me to share it as her gift to the world. I’m up for that, but if you charted my common sense vs. time, the resulting graph would look like a bad Dali painting.
enoughmelancholy, here’s something nice: The above is a poster from the early 70’s from one of the most influential surf flicks of all time. Rick Griffin did the art work on this piece, and it shows.
When your son comes home, ask him how to adapt your header to your template so that the writing is not hidden by the sidebar. Children know a lot about these things.
Comment by cantueso — December 22, 2007 @ 9:26 am
Denise,
If you are reading this, my message to you is this - don’t be afraid. I have very definite and strong spiritual - not denominational or religious - beliefs, and they come from my experiences of meditation. When I have meditated for 30 minutes in the morning, I have NEVER had a bad day. (Makes you wonder why I don’t do it more often.)
I’ve also never had what I would classify a truly mystical experience, because I don’t apply myself enough - but - the number of times things have just “magically” fallen into place, and the constant confirming feelings that everything is going to be OK no matter what, have me completely convinced that we truly are divine extensions of what most people concieve of as God, that in that sense we are indestructible, and that our purpose here is to simply experience this beautiful universe with other souls. (The way he writes about you, it sounds like you picked a good one in Jeff
Shakespeare hit the nail on the head when he wrote “the world is but a stage”. The Universe is the stage; and we are actors.
Meditating and praying can, but doesn’t necessarily, heal the body - but it always benefits the soul. I never pray for specific outcomes any more - just for what’s best for that person/soul. I’m sure the Universe can come up with a lot better things than I could ever think of.
It’s about time I get off my lazy ass and start meditating again, anyway. I will put in a good word for you.
Cheers,
Jeff’s friend, George
Comment by allocator — December 22, 2007 @ 9:07 pm
Oh, Jeff. I obviously have nothing to say that can possibly help, but have seen enough of you and heard enough about your wife from you to suspect that you’re both focused on the living and not the dying. Let us know if we can do anything for you.
Comment by Sam Smith — December 26, 2007 @ 2:49 pm
Jeff,
I cannot even begin to express my compassion for those going through an experience where death of a loved one is imminent. Most of us do face this eventually, of course, unless we are lucky enough to predecease our loved ones. Still, I know from experience, having been surrounded by death for a few years now, that experiencing what it means to be human means experiencing great and abiding pain, and I am so sorry that this will be your lot, and all too soon.
I take solace in knowing that most people care, and that the ones who care are those whom I care about.
Take care. Ride it out.
With great empathy,
JS
Comment by JS O'Brien — December 26, 2007 @ 7:50 pm